Best Marketing Ideas Ever!

1. Social media is a waste of time.

 
There is no ROI for social media! Do you want your company to look like a tweeting tween that is obsessed with selfies and Candy Crush? Perhaps social media can drive a little traffic to your website. But is it really worth paying someone to maintain Facebook and Twitter?

2. Nobody reads blogs anymore.

 
Blogs are so 2013. When people want to find out information they go to their local library. Plus, when has a blog ever generated a lead for anyone. Don’t waste your time with blogging.

Oh, and ignore the following stats:

B2B companies who blog generate 67% more leads. An inbound marketing lead costs half that of an outbound one.

3. Stop proofreading; nobody cares.

 
If you want to say things like, “We done it the right right way.” and spell things wierd (see what I did their . . . and their to) go right ahead. As long as people generally know what you are saying, you are good to go. I have never seen someone judged by their command of the English language. You are wasting your precious time proofreading.

4. Data is for dummies. Go by how you feel.

 
The hard numbers attached to your marketing campaigns can’t describe your success. How do you feel about it? That is the real question. Did your email campaign get sent to a lot of people? If yes, then it was a success. Did you talk to a lot of people at the event? If yes, then it was a success. Numbers just confuse your intuition. If you feel good about your marketing choices, then that is enough.

5. As long as you’re at the event . . .

 
Just get there should be your mantra when it comes to events and tradeshows. If you are there, eventually the right prospect will show up at your booth. That is science.

6. Print audits are a waste of time.

 
Who has time to actually go through the audit numbers of a publication? Just find whichever brand can give the biggest number. Who cares if that number is audited? If a publication suddenly doubles its circulation without any explanation of who and how, just go with it. Every impression is a good impression.

7. Who cares about your audiences’ preferences and concerns?

 
Research is arduous and boring.The subtle differences that make your audience different are not your concern. Who has time to address the unique pain points of an audience? You have preferences too! If you like Google+, then use Google+. Who is the audience to say which social media platform is best?

8. Duplicate your content.

 
It is hard work writing white papers and blogs. It is a pain to come up with a different post for each social media platform. Once you get some content finished, use that content as much as possible. Use the exact format and media and use it for every audience you reach.

9. Pick a device and go.

 
Leads are leads. An impression is an impression. These are the mottos of every marketer. That being said, all this talk of reaching your prospects on the right device is pure bupkis. Just pick one and only one and go with it. It will all work out.

10. Branding doesn’t affect much.

 
Do you wear the same clothes everyday? I hope not. Branding is the same way. Consistency is overrated. People can still figure out who you are regardless of branding changes. Saying that consistency is important to branding isn’t logical. Case closed.

11. This internet trend will end soon.

 
Don’t believe this internet hype. Within the next couple of years no one will even have heard of the internet. All you need are billboards and a rolodex. What else could a marketer want?

April Fool’s

 

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